This was a hard thing to get used to. I was amazed at how many issues surfaced as I allowed my husband to take the helm. I know this is what he had to do, and what he is fully competent to do, but, you know...
We bought my childhood home from the estate after my dad passed away on the fateful 9/11. It just made sense for us in that season of our lives. We were also able to pay it off, and live mortgage-free. A series of events - brought us to the belief that we were to change location, direction, habitation, vocation... basically our entire lives seemed to be tossed up into the air. So, in response, we placed our house on the market. Wow. Let me tell you, my flesh wanted to throw hissy fits. My husband's parents immigrated, his sisters and he then migrated to different parts of the continent. They are accustomed to living physically apart, without sacrificing the intimacy and closeness of relationship. They figured out how to do it, and well. BUT.... My parents rarely wanted to step foot out of their house... Two of my three wonderful sisters live here. My daughter and scrumptuous grandbabies live within an hour of here. I have 3 semesters of Biblical Hebrew under my belt, which was no easy task. I don't have throngs of friends, but those I have, I cherish. But Jake, bless his heart, has lived with my choices and the consquences thereof since we said I-DO. He has totally laid down his agenda, his desires, the pulls of his heart to satisy my needs. For the first time, he wanted something other than what we have. GULP. It was clearly his turn. So, I laid it down. I've not shed more tears in my life than those over leaving the people I love (privately... Jake never knew). But, regardless, I embraced the idea - we listed the house, and both worked like crazy to tend to the details of it showing well. I kept the house "company ready", I prayed for a buyer. We followed a trail of "bread crumbs" to Oregon, a trip clearly of the Lord's design, fell in love with the area, developed relationships with several of the people, truly cooperated with whatever Jake desired. Came home and cried some more. Laid it down all over again... you get the picture.
But Jake has been reading this book... about living debt-free. We are in total unity with regard to this goal, and our only debt at this point is our cars. To pull off the move we had envisioned, we would pool the revenue from the sale of our assets, combine that with a mortgage and live to pay it off. We are empty nesters- mortgage free, about to be completely debt-free... why on earth would we want to do something like that? Funny you should ask... that is the exact question Jake began asking. Combine this with some new ideas of how we could escape the chaos of the city and actually enjoy refreshment for a change (no longer being chained to a business), the decision was nearly made. But the decision had to be his.
For kicks this morning we attended a church right in our community, instead of doing the cross-town commute. We loved it. The people looked familiar... like we'd seen them before. Who knows, maybe they are our neighbors?? Anyway, this thing has been bathed in prayer, and by the time we arrived home from church, Jake had decided that after having examined the choices, he'd choose our current home. Not as my dad's house, but as the home he is the head of - HIS choice. So he placed a call to the realtor who graciously agreed to take OUR HOME off the market. It is no longer for sale.
OK, this has been a really REALLY big deal to me. I have not gone into half of the issues, deadlines and "stuff" that were interwoven into the timing of this. It was more than I could think through. But the Lord was faithful. Again. He allowed this situation to bring many things to the surface. Things that were heavy, deeply rooted, painful - probably inaccessible any other way. And by bringing this stuff to the surface, He brought it into His light, which reveals the darkness, the deception that prevents us from untangling ourselves. He has corrected thinking that has kept me in bondage. This is just the surface I've scratched. Isn't God good?